Cigarettes & Calpol

Accidents can happen and you were one of them. If you’re a boy we can play football, a girl we’ll sew a hem. I’m quite good at defending but not at gender bending. You’re going to drive me potty with your potty training. When you start to walk I’ll have to pull the reigns in. I’m going to have to try and curb my swearing or your first word might be fuck. Pass me the milk and alcohol, my cigarettes and some calpol - we’ll be all right in another week or two. I’m like a child with a new toy I don’t know how to use - and there will soon be nappies pilling up in our refuse. Our room will look fantastic when everything’s in plastic! I guess for the moment we’re ok ‘cause you’re inside and I’m out all day - but soon reality is going to hit me - I’ll be off to bed at two and up again at three. So pass me the milk and alcohol, my cigarettes and some calpol - ‘cause I’ll be up all night in another week or two. I pace the room at night wondering what it might be like. I suppose it might be alright if I start thinking and stop my drinking. When I think about the first year or so - the first time you call me dad and how quickly you will grow. Maybe you and me won’t be compatible - I’ll have to be grown up and act responsible! Pass me the milk and alcohol, my cigarettes and some calpol - you’ll be upright in another year or two. Oh I can’t sleep at all wondering if this is my downfall - but I know deep down inside it’s true that you’ll love me and I’ll love you. As I see your shape gently swelling - I know what’s going to happen there’s no way of telling. I’ve got a feeling - you could say it was a hunch - that things will be all right in a few months. I can’t wait ‘till everything is hunky dory - sitting on the sofa watching Jackanory. Singing silly rhymes and playing stupid games - I know it’s never ever going to be the same again. So pass me the milk and alcohol, my cigarettes and some calpol - ‘cause you’ll be life like in another week or two.

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